How Words are Magic; Living a Life of Enlightenment
I've restarted this post three times now under the same title, and it's because I couldn't stop myself from capitalizing my "I"s. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I've been trying to apply this new practice, a path of less resistance, trusting first, and listening. I know that anyone who ever reads this blog will be the kind of English speaker that knows "I" should be capitalized as a rule. This isn't my rule, and in fact it's a rule I disagree with, as described in this post. I find it absurd that one of the most widely spoken languages on Earth is the same that places extra emphasis on the importance of the individual, the speaker, the ego. On the other hand, I've heard it said that history is written by the winners, and it is my understanding that the best way to change a system is from within.
I dream of becoming a teacher, and I do my best to teach currently when given an opportunity. I really enjoy knowing what I'm talking about, so I tend to research things I'm interested in, and when I talk about them, sometimes people will ask me questions. I love questions. They beg for answers, and I love answers just as much. This is my favorite part of the learning process, the simplicity of a Q and A dialogue. I digress! The proper noun "I."
When people talk about relationships requiring sacrifices, I tend to get a little worked up. I've seen the toxicity this attitude can accumulate in a persons life, especially when there develops a dichotomy between the giver and the receiver. When someone makes sacrifices, it's a profound statement of love in my eyes. The willingness of a person to allow you to displace other priorities in their life, they make room for you, and life always find a way to fill a space. I love English--I kinda hate it too, but not nearly as much as I love it. I often talk about how I love grossness, ambiguity, spooky things, things that don't make sense, the like. English has a lot of odd aspects and rules that just plain don't make sense to me. However, the redeeming grace of the English language as seen through my eyes is quite simply that it is familiar. I know it. I use it often, am using it currently. It's how I view the world around me and organize it into palatable bite-size pieces, by putting things under labels and into metaphorical boxes, be recognizing patterns that have been drawn to my attention by use of a word for that pattern. I love the English language almost obsessively; I'm fond of etymology as a side effect and often find myself searching for root word meanings, double checking whether a meaning I've guessed was correct or accurate at all by looking to the internet. I love knowing what I'm talking about, but I love more being able to talk about what I know.
Words are so very near and dear to me that when people try to tell me that I'm not what I say I am, I get fiercely defensive--or at least I have in the past. That's a habit I'm working on. Like taking toys from a toddler, you might get hurt because I'm scared of not having that thing I have that I like and want to keep, and anyone who tries to take it obviously has ill intent for me, right? No. I know better now. Those who offer help often sincerely want nothing but to help. Those who offer advice along the lines of, "If you just let go of this thing..." see how that thing can hurt me, and while many people mostly talk about themselves when they speak, if they're offering advice, odds are they also have you in mind.
I'm finally realizing the disservice I'd done myself by rebelling against Oxford English rules, because those are the exact rules I will need to follow presumably for the rest of my life so long as I keep my existing goals in mind. And I truly believe that following these rules will help me to master an art I'm beginning to more fully believe exists: Magic.
My dad is like my guru. He gets into some odd stuff sometimes, often really really deep, and he loves it. He can talk about it for days, and I know that's where I get that behavior from. Talking endlessly about things I love. He's into the realm of Enlightenment, and he talks about this idea, one that was totally new to me as he said it first, that I think I believed in all along but just didn't have the words to make it real. Authentic Magic. I believe in real magic, genuine miracles, and Authentic Magic.
Now, if I'm anything of an example of what my dad is like, he's a hippie, and like a shaman, as well as just a regular old man. I'm like him in the sense that i'm a bit of a witchy hippie, I've had people tell me I seem like an old soul (and I definitely feel it), and I think I'm definitely very much like a regular young woman. But when he and I talk, magic is an intrinsic nature of the world around us. There's traces of it in everything we do, and some people have stronger inclinations to magical abilities than others, but everyone has the potential in them. In the same way that everyone has a body, everyone has a bio-electric field they emit, and everyone who wakes up and goes into the world on a regular basis--be it inside or out--has access to Consciousness, and uses it often.
I feel as though I am beginning to understand what this "enlightenment" people talk about is, especially in that I love talking about it, and talking helps me learn, and my running definition of what it means to live a Life of Enlightenment is to find the excess energy in your life that normally goes off into nothingness, and redirect it into the purpose of betterment. I don't believe there are people who are "enlightened," because this indicates that there is a complete state of enlightenment, that there's an end game and a final goal that can be reached.
I recently had a friend seek consolation with me, and she described how hard she had worked, how much time and effort and lack of sleep she put into completing this paper she had due, and said she couldn't do it. She called it the first time. Her expression was so broken, like she was holding back tears, and I could feel for her. I can't say I've ever spent 40 hours straight on something, or even that I've ever needed four energy drinks to complete anything, but I am all too familiar with the disappointment of seeking perfection. I can only imagine she took on this challenge knowing she could do it, from a person she may have wanted to make proud, and I know her mother sent her to school abroad to give her the best, and now she's home again to carry on and she'd been doing so well, her mother knew this, and most of all, I'm almost certain she fully expected herself to be able to write this paper and get the grade she wanted because she'd done so many similar things, so many times before. But she failed herself. I know that feeling. She may expect she's disappointed her instructors, and her mother. I know that feeling. I'm familiar with how difficult it can be to know--you know you can do this thing! You could do it easily, in fact. If only just this thing outside yourself was a little different... if only this circumstance stood just slightly more in your favor... if only others were more willing to help you, or if only you'd remembered better, or payed closer attention, if only, if only, if only....
This train of thought goes on, and on, and on. In a cathartic and humorous expression, this friend of mine sent a snapchat with a goofy filter asking, "Why do I do this to myself?!" And my answer was, "Ah, perfection... like the ever receding horizon." Seeking enlightenment is the same as seeking perfection, and it's the same as when sailors set out to find the edge of the world. It doesn't actually exist as a place you can go to, or an accomplishment to be achieved and moved on from. It's a direction you take, and a way you can go, a journey whose purpose is to be a journey, an experience. There will always be more to learn, new things to achieve, and the beauty of this human life we live as individuals is that your experience, your goals, your modus operandi, to bring us back to Latin again, is perfectly unique. You are a unique blend of all the people who make up your ancestors, in an unprecedented time, with a perfectly unique experience behind, before, and ahead of you.
I believe in Authentic Magic. I believe in the power of the words we say, and I believe in the power of relationships. I think that if I can harness the excess energy I normally burn off through getting worked up and angry, or overly excited, or simply by fidgeting and moving my physical body, I could learn how to affect changes in my environment though means outside the natural. It may take me decades of study, probably will, in fact, and it may take giving up some of my other goals in life, but if I want it badly enough, if I can bring myself to do all the work it would take, I really truly believe I could do it. Capitalizing my "I"s is a baby step towards being better understood, and more importantly being taken just a little more seriously, and it's a step on a life long journey that is my purpose.
At the risk of sounding like a conspiracy theorist, (and let's face it, the odds of major conspiracies existing outweighs the odds of them not existing, just take a second to look at the facts) I do not believe that human beings are as evolved as we've ever been. I believe that progress happens in cycles, that relapse is often a sign of healing, and that humanity has a long way to go, but that we will go far, if we want to. I know I want to. And I believe I'm not alone. Pick something everyone in society has agreed is impossible, and find a way it could be possible. Find a cause that perpetuates a lifestyle or a culture you believe in, and get behind it! Remember, you're a drop in the bucket, but a drop nonetheless. You hold just as much potential as the next person over, and all it will take to get there is your best. Remember to forgive yourself, be as patient as you can, and be human: Be adaptable.
Use your words wisely, and don't be afraid to correct yourself in front of others. I know I find this difficult, as it can be really embarrassing, but I can tell you people will be more willing to listen to you if you can admit when you're wrong. Give what you want. I know of someone who describes himself as aiming to become a "master of reciprocity." He actually has a whole youtube channel called Failing Social. At this very moment, the magic of words strike me as I realize I should take my own advice more often, and check this kind of material out. This magic is as simple as seeing what I've said right in front of me, on a platform that's specifically for my expression, much like many others. The world is changing. Magic exists. Start with a mantra, a word, a phrase, to affirm your self, to make yourself more like the person you want to be. Carpe diem. Keep calm and carry on. Yolo. Whatever works for you. Whatever you are, be a good one. That magic is in you already.
I dream of becoming a teacher, and I do my best to teach currently when given an opportunity. I really enjoy knowing what I'm talking about, so I tend to research things I'm interested in, and when I talk about them, sometimes people will ask me questions. I love questions. They beg for answers, and I love answers just as much. This is my favorite part of the learning process, the simplicity of a Q and A dialogue. I digress! The proper noun "I."
When people talk about relationships requiring sacrifices, I tend to get a little worked up. I've seen the toxicity this attitude can accumulate in a persons life, especially when there develops a dichotomy between the giver and the receiver. When someone makes sacrifices, it's a profound statement of love in my eyes. The willingness of a person to allow you to displace other priorities in their life, they make room for you, and life always find a way to fill a space. I love English--I kinda hate it too, but not nearly as much as I love it. I often talk about how I love grossness, ambiguity, spooky things, things that don't make sense, the like. English has a lot of odd aspects and rules that just plain don't make sense to me. However, the redeeming grace of the English language as seen through my eyes is quite simply that it is familiar. I know it. I use it often, am using it currently. It's how I view the world around me and organize it into palatable bite-size pieces, by putting things under labels and into metaphorical boxes, be recognizing patterns that have been drawn to my attention by use of a word for that pattern. I love the English language almost obsessively; I'm fond of etymology as a side effect and often find myself searching for root word meanings, double checking whether a meaning I've guessed was correct or accurate at all by looking to the internet. I love knowing what I'm talking about, but I love more being able to talk about what I know.
Words are so very near and dear to me that when people try to tell me that I'm not what I say I am, I get fiercely defensive--or at least I have in the past. That's a habit I'm working on. Like taking toys from a toddler, you might get hurt because I'm scared of not having that thing I have that I like and want to keep, and anyone who tries to take it obviously has ill intent for me, right? No. I know better now. Those who offer help often sincerely want nothing but to help. Those who offer advice along the lines of, "If you just let go of this thing..." see how that thing can hurt me, and while many people mostly talk about themselves when they speak, if they're offering advice, odds are they also have you in mind.
I'm finally realizing the disservice I'd done myself by rebelling against Oxford English rules, because those are the exact rules I will need to follow presumably for the rest of my life so long as I keep my existing goals in mind. And I truly believe that following these rules will help me to master an art I'm beginning to more fully believe exists: Magic.
My dad is like my guru. He gets into some odd stuff sometimes, often really really deep, and he loves it. He can talk about it for days, and I know that's where I get that behavior from. Talking endlessly about things I love. He's into the realm of Enlightenment, and he talks about this idea, one that was totally new to me as he said it first, that I think I believed in all along but just didn't have the words to make it real. Authentic Magic. I believe in real magic, genuine miracles, and Authentic Magic.
Now, if I'm anything of an example of what my dad is like, he's a hippie, and like a shaman, as well as just a regular old man. I'm like him in the sense that i'm a bit of a witchy hippie, I've had people tell me I seem like an old soul (and I definitely feel it), and I think I'm definitely very much like a regular young woman. But when he and I talk, magic is an intrinsic nature of the world around us. There's traces of it in everything we do, and some people have stronger inclinations to magical abilities than others, but everyone has the potential in them. In the same way that everyone has a body, everyone has a bio-electric field they emit, and everyone who wakes up and goes into the world on a regular basis--be it inside or out--has access to Consciousness, and uses it often.
I feel as though I am beginning to understand what this "enlightenment" people talk about is, especially in that I love talking about it, and talking helps me learn, and my running definition of what it means to live a Life of Enlightenment is to find the excess energy in your life that normally goes off into nothingness, and redirect it into the purpose of betterment. I don't believe there are people who are "enlightened," because this indicates that there is a complete state of enlightenment, that there's an end game and a final goal that can be reached.
I recently had a friend seek consolation with me, and she described how hard she had worked, how much time and effort and lack of sleep she put into completing this paper she had due, and said she couldn't do it. She called it the first time. Her expression was so broken, like she was holding back tears, and I could feel for her. I can't say I've ever spent 40 hours straight on something, or even that I've ever needed four energy drinks to complete anything, but I am all too familiar with the disappointment of seeking perfection. I can only imagine she took on this challenge knowing she could do it, from a person she may have wanted to make proud, and I know her mother sent her to school abroad to give her the best, and now she's home again to carry on and she'd been doing so well, her mother knew this, and most of all, I'm almost certain she fully expected herself to be able to write this paper and get the grade she wanted because she'd done so many similar things, so many times before. But she failed herself. I know that feeling. She may expect she's disappointed her instructors, and her mother. I know that feeling. I'm familiar with how difficult it can be to know--you know you can do this thing! You could do it easily, in fact. If only just this thing outside yourself was a little different... if only this circumstance stood just slightly more in your favor... if only others were more willing to help you, or if only you'd remembered better, or payed closer attention, if only, if only, if only....
This train of thought goes on, and on, and on. In a cathartic and humorous expression, this friend of mine sent a snapchat with a goofy filter asking, "Why do I do this to myself?!" And my answer was, "Ah, perfection... like the ever receding horizon." Seeking enlightenment is the same as seeking perfection, and it's the same as when sailors set out to find the edge of the world. It doesn't actually exist as a place you can go to, or an accomplishment to be achieved and moved on from. It's a direction you take, and a way you can go, a journey whose purpose is to be a journey, an experience. There will always be more to learn, new things to achieve, and the beauty of this human life we live as individuals is that your experience, your goals, your modus operandi, to bring us back to Latin again, is perfectly unique. You are a unique blend of all the people who make up your ancestors, in an unprecedented time, with a perfectly unique experience behind, before, and ahead of you.
I believe in Authentic Magic. I believe in the power of the words we say, and I believe in the power of relationships. I think that if I can harness the excess energy I normally burn off through getting worked up and angry, or overly excited, or simply by fidgeting and moving my physical body, I could learn how to affect changes in my environment though means outside the natural. It may take me decades of study, probably will, in fact, and it may take giving up some of my other goals in life, but if I want it badly enough, if I can bring myself to do all the work it would take, I really truly believe I could do it. Capitalizing my "I"s is a baby step towards being better understood, and more importantly being taken just a little more seriously, and it's a step on a life long journey that is my purpose.
At the risk of sounding like a conspiracy theorist, (and let's face it, the odds of major conspiracies existing outweighs the odds of them not existing, just take a second to look at the facts) I do not believe that human beings are as evolved as we've ever been. I believe that progress happens in cycles, that relapse is often a sign of healing, and that humanity has a long way to go, but that we will go far, if we want to. I know I want to. And I believe I'm not alone. Pick something everyone in society has agreed is impossible, and find a way it could be possible. Find a cause that perpetuates a lifestyle or a culture you believe in, and get behind it! Remember, you're a drop in the bucket, but a drop nonetheless. You hold just as much potential as the next person over, and all it will take to get there is your best. Remember to forgive yourself, be as patient as you can, and be human: Be adaptable.
Use your words wisely, and don't be afraid to correct yourself in front of others. I know I find this difficult, as it can be really embarrassing, but I can tell you people will be more willing to listen to you if you can admit when you're wrong. Give what you want. I know of someone who describes himself as aiming to become a "master of reciprocity." He actually has a whole youtube channel called Failing Social. At this very moment, the magic of words strike me as I realize I should take my own advice more often, and check this kind of material out. This magic is as simple as seeing what I've said right in front of me, on a platform that's specifically for my expression, much like many others. The world is changing. Magic exists. Start with a mantra, a word, a phrase, to affirm your self, to make yourself more like the person you want to be. Carpe diem. Keep calm and carry on. Yolo. Whatever works for you. Whatever you are, be a good one. That magic is in you already.
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